The Church Bells Call
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: Five times when the church bells called Josiah. Slash. Character Deaths.


Title: "The Church Bells Call"  
Author: Kat Lee  
Rating: R due to character deaths  
Summary: Five times when the church bells called Josiah.  
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, names, codenames, places, items, fandoms, titles, and etc. are always © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Any and all original characters and everything else is © & TM the author and may not be reproduced in any way without the author's express, written permission. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
Author's Note: 244. That's the number of stories that were sitting on my hard drive collecting dust because I lack the energy and time to take care of them as I once did. My betaing pattern has always been to write, then type up if written on paper, the story, read it aloud to my beloved Jack and our children, editing as I go, and then finally format and post. Sadly, this part is simply taking too much of my time and energy, and my beloved Jack and I have too little time together in person these days to be able to keep up with my stories. So what to do? Give up writing? I actually considered it for a while, tried to make excuses to myself other than the large number of stories collecting cyber dust on my computer, as to why I lacked the energy and Muse to write new tales. And then, with the turn of the new year, I decided to stop running and face the problem. The problem is, quite frankly, that once one gets so bogged down in formatting and editing that writing is no longer a pleasure but the actual posting of those writings becomes a hassle and - egad! - work, it's time to cut something out, and that will never be the writing process. So, in short, yes, there will be mistakes in this tale. Yes, it's missing about half of the header information I usually include. But I wrote it for pleasure and am posting it in hopes of sharing that pleasure with others. Do with it as you will.

He often thinks of the first time he heard church bells ringing. He was five years old at the time, and his family had just moved to a new area. They always had done a lot of moving as his father worked to carry the gospel to the people he called savages behind their backs, which were not always Indians despite the popular use of the phrase at the time, and simultaneously worked to make sure his congregations never guessed what was really happening behind his family's door.

Josiah remembers his mother being excited because there was a gathering of women Christians and the church was nearer and lovelier than ever before. Josiah doesn't really remember the church, just its size and how he eventually crawled up into the tower with the bells to hide when his father was in one of his rages and he was near enough to run to the church for safety. There were times he held Hannah there, one arm around his sister as she cried and his other arm's hand covering her mouth to keep her from being heard.

But on that first day when the church bells rang, Josiah's father had not yet been chosen for the local Preacher. The fact that another man was preaching to what he felt should be his congregation had angered him and sent him into his cups early on. Josiah can rarely hear the bells ringing now without thinking of that day as his father mercilessly beat his mother and sister while the bells rang on and Josiah cried, whimpered, and wept for a savior to come for them.

A savior had come. He knows that now, and he knows, too, that mankind is what has screwed up the world and the people within it, God's people. He knows mankind is allowed to do as they will because of free will, and there's rarely a day that goes by that the Preacher doesn't wish that free will did not exist, that God had not given his people the right to choose and think for themselves, the right to freely use their bodies for what they will.

But free will does exist, and mankind does use its bodies and everything it can touch to do its own bidding. Josiah's found that those things that other men do are so often wicked that he's come to believe that mankind is not good at heart. No, there are few like him who do their best to follow the good Lord's word and even fewer who are truly good. Most men are wicked, wretched, and evil beings that deserve neither to live nor the Father's forgiveness.

It angers him to see the things men do, the innocents they hurt and kill, the frail, defenseless women they rape, the beauty they destroy. Most Christians know that they should have been the ones nailed to the cross rather than Jesus. All believe that he died for their sins. Josiah knows that he did, but he also knows that he shouldn't have had to for most monsters like the men he sees day in and night out don't deserve the Savior's sacrifice. To think of how Jesus suffered so that they might be free to rape, maim, and kill churns the Preacher's stomach and makes him ache to wipe them all off of the face of the Earth.

He knows, too, that Jesus was a man of peace, that he believed in doing everything possible to avoid a fight most of the time, but in that, in turning the other cheek or a blind eye to the atrocities that happen in the world around him, is where Josiah has trouble being a true Christian. The thought of following Jesus' doctrine in those matters doesn't even enter the Preacher's mind one day when he walks into a broken-down, abandoned church, following screams and the church bell's ringing and finds a filthy outlaw in the process of ripping a girl's clothes off.

Something dark enters the older man's eyes, so dark and vengeful that, for just a moment, the outlaw shakes and begins to wonder if the Devil himself has walked into the church with him, but then Josiah opens his mouth. "You evil ass! How dare you defile the good Lord's church with your - "

The outlaw cuts into the Preacher's words, stopping him before he's barely began. "Save your sermon, Preacher," he says and tears another piece of cloth out of the girl's skirt that he's already pushed up well above her knees. "It's not Sunday."

Josiah does save his sermon on that day. He saves it without even so much as a second thought, pulls his gun instead, and fires, committing a second sin in the Lord's house that day but one also that he believes the Father and Son will understand, even if They can't approve.

These memories never leave Josiah. They and others are always there, and he never knows which one is going to well up into his mind whenever he rings his church's bell to draw his parishioners near. He never knows how ugly the memory will be, rather it will be one that he strives to keep deeply buried or not, but sometimes, albeit rarely, he gets lucky, like the day he and Nathan were out in a field miles and miles from Four Corners and considerably closer to another town and they heard bells ringing.

Josiah remembers how bright Nathan's smile was on that sunshiny day and can feel his own mouth twitch up into another broad grin like the one he wore every time he thinks of that day. "Somebody's getting married, brother," he'd remarked. Nathan had nodded though his eyes had suddenly become a little darker. "What's wrong?" Josiah had asked as he'd taken him into his arms.

Nathan's smile had been a little less bright, a little weaker, with a hint of sadness to it. "I was just wishing we could have bells ringing for us one day," he'd told him.

Josiah had promised him that they would, but then he'd also said, "But we don't need church bells or a gold, wedding band to certify our love, Brother Nathan. All we need is two hearts full of love in the good Lord's eyes, and we already have that."

Nathan had looked at him dubiously. "You really think He'd approve?" he'd asked, and Josiah had smiled again.

A warmer or truer smile he'd rarely worn as he'd assured his love, "In God's eyes, sweetheart, we're all equal. There is no male or female. We're all the same when it comes to gender and other things like that, but it's our hearts that make us different and special. He knows everything about us, Nathan. He knows it before he ever creates us. He knows with whom we're going to fall in love. That's predestined by Him before we're ever born, so yes, love, God does want us to be together. We would've love each other as much as we do if He didn't."

He hugged him close, and then he'd raised his head up to look at the beautiful, bright blue sky that had stretched for miles above them. "Dear Father, I thank you for putting this wonderful man into my life and filling our hearts with love for one another. You know what and who need, Father, before we ever knew it. You know, too, that with the law and prejudice in this world, we can't marry in their eyes, but in Your eyes, Father, I do hereby claim Nathan Jackson as my one and only forever."

Having no jewelry or loose leather on him at the time, Josiah had taken a nearby flower from the Earth and wrapped it around Nathan's dark and slender finger. They'd exchanged words there in that valley of peace, and in God's eyes, from that moment on, they were married. No man or woman could have ever taken that from them, and it was the happiest moment of their lives.

It's also the moment that Josiah thinks of many years later as, with tears pouring down his whiskered face, he says words over his beloved's still body and listens to the sorrowful tone of the church's bell as it echoes throughout the little town they'd come to call their home and in which they'd built a life that was now, one bullet too fast, destroyed forever. He barely feels his adopted brother's hands upon him on that fateful day, but again, many more years later, he feels their presence quite strongly as those who are left gather around him.

His family is gathered around him as he sees a bright, white light and hears the church's bells ringing for one final time. His tears freeze on his face, and he smiles as he sees his Savior waiting with open arms. With him are Nathan and Hannah, both smiling and calling him home, and at last, Josiah does go home to be happy forever more.

**The End**


End file.
